Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Achievement Unlocked: Life
Anyone who has played games (especially on Xbox) know about achievements. They are given to you by completing certain goals and objectives in a game. Some are as easy as finishing the first level, or killing your first enemy. Some seem downright impossible, like completing the entire game without firing a single shot, or without dying. Some people (called achievement hunters) do everything they can to complete every achievement for every game. Depending on the difficulty you are typically awarded achievement points that serve no purpose whatsoever except for bragging rights. While achievements made a name for themselves on Xbox, almost all games have them now. All the way down to mobile games.
Now, lets work that imagination for a moment. Imagine for a moment if you will, that life had achievements. From the moment you take your first breath to the moment you take your last, you are awarded achievements for life goals. Maybe when you are younger the achievements are simple. "Achievement Unlocked: Shit pants - 10 pts" How awesome would it be to be able to go back and look at the list of achievements you have done so far. It would be even funnier for those people who want to "live life to the fullest" and complete any achievements they may have missed. That could have some serious comedic value. Say there was an achievement for riding a pony or playing on the Burger King indoor playground. I could just imagine seeing an adult putting themselves in ridiculous situation for the sake of completion.
This would also be helpful for catching liars and cheaters. That girl from when you were in school that swore she was a virgin, when in reality she had sex with half the football team. You could actually track that shit. Yea, it says here that you unlocked the achievement "losin' it" in '94. It would be even worse if you decided to have sex with someone. Hey lets "ding" together. I'm ready to ding. Then you finish up and an achievement pops up above your head "Achievement Unlocked - Losin' It - 25pts" How awkward would it be when your girlfriend didn't get the achievement, because of the "7 minutes in heaven" game that went a bit to far at that college party.
Obviously the Achievement tracker would need some type of privacy controls. After all, you wouldn't want your parents to see all your achievements. No Dad, I didn't egg the principals house. I was with friends that did it, and I got the achievement for being a member of the party at the time.
Then there is the obvious issue of deciding what items are tracked. For instance, not many people would want to look back and see that they unlocked the achievement for having sex with 100 different sex partners, or for drinking an entire bottle liquor in one sitting. Although these things would be good to know about someone if you were getting to know them.
So what was the last achievement you unlocked? What achievements do you still need?